Election 2016

Well we have one week until the election. Since this has been one of the most interesting elections I have seen in many years I am going to be very bored after next week. I have 2 of my blogs I dedicate to pro conservative / anti liberal and now I have to repurpose them for the next 4 years. And Twitter and Facebook. . . there will not be much to retweet and share so I guess for the next 4 years we will be inundated with cute cat pictures. . . . I would run away and join a circus but I can’t fit into that little clown car anymore.

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Inconsistencies, Ramblings, Whatever . . .

I have noticed that the animal lovers in the family periodically say they don’t like to eat meat and lament about becoming a vegetarian.    However these same people when buying dog or cat food always make sure that “real meat” is in the bag.

When shopping in the grocery store there is no sign for toilet paper;  it is always labeled “Bath Tissue”.  Now who in their right mind when getting into the shower would grab a roll of “Bath Tissue”?   You can’t wash or dry with it, it would fall apart and be totally useless.

There are times when listening to music I always think to myself that the music from long ago had more meaning and better lyrics etc.   However it is about then that I hear songs with lyrics like “ram a lama ding dong” or “alley oop boop”, “I’m shaking like a man on a fuzzy tree” and then there is return to sender;  now when have you ever been able to mail a letter and have it returned the very next day – turn around on that would probably be about 5 or 6 days minimum.

From Twitter: Church Curmudgeon

Church Curmudgeon@ChrchCurmudgeon Mar 28

Do King James Only churches post their sermons on ThouTube?

Church Curmudgeon@ChrchCurmudgeon 24h24 hours ago

Scandal at the National Amateur Handbell Choir Tournament. Looks like the winning team hired a couple of ringers.

Church Curmudgeon@ChrchCurmudgeon Jun 8

If Trump would just identify as a woman, we’d have the perfect storm.

Church Curmudgeon@ChrchCurmudgeon Jun 7

On the positive side, they’ve discovered a new perpetual energy source: All the founding fathers spinning in their graves. #PrimaryDay

Church Curmudgeon@ChrchCurmudgeon Jun 6

First day of VBS, and I got 3 kids to rededicate themselves to staying off the lawn.

Church Curmudgeon@ChrchCurmudgeon Jun 2

This election is pretty much proof that someone went back a million years in a time machine and stepped on a butterfly.

Church Curmudgeon@ChrchCurmudgeon Jun 2

Lady next door uses a 24-hour lawn service. Doesn’t bother me, except when . . . In the midnight hour, she cries, “Mow, mow, mow!”

TV Shows I Watch

It seems logical to go through the week, soooooo.

Mondays lately I watch Scorpion and NCIS LA.    Even though I have always liked NCIS LA I am getting tired of it with the characters always bickering like a couple old ladies all the time.   As for scorpion I kind of like the quirky personalities they have given Happy and Toby.   Enough said.

Tuesdays I watch NCIS and NCIS New Orleans.   I am saddened at the departure of Tony DiNozzo (Michael Weatherly) – to me he was the show almost as much as Gibbs.  Tony can go from class clown to deadly serious in a heartbeat.    As far as New Orleans I think they are going so far into the character interaction thing and the ending scenes in the bar that it takes away from the actually crime aspect – I watch it but whether I continue to watch it is up in the air.

Wednesdays the only show I really look forward to is Criminal Minds.   It has stayed true to it’s purpose and although it has changed cast members a few times I still consider it my favorite show

On Thursday night I used to watch Elementary but they seem to have moved it to Sunday night which is a bad sign as I have noticed that shows they move to Sunday are soon cancelled.    I like this show a lot and the only drawback is that the main character sometimes talks to fast I have no idea what he is saying.

There are a couple cable shows I like a lot and try not to miss them.   The first one is The Artful Detective  or on another cable channel they call it Murdoch Mysteries.     Good old fashioned detective work and even though it is set in the 1890s it alludes to things happening in todays world. Excellent show. 

The next show is Death In Paradise.   Set on an island called San Marie.   Great blend of characters and I truly enjoy all of them.

Although there are a number of sitcoms I like and enjoy – I am not really concerned if I miss them.   The top ones that I find consistently funny are 1. Big Bang Theory, 2. Black (ish), 3. Fresh Off The Boat, 4. Last Man Standing, 5. The Middle.     We watch more of them but these are the top ones that I like. 

Yogi-isms

When you come to a fork in the road, take it

We made too many wrong mistakes.

You can observe a lot by watching.

The future ain’t what it used to be.

Nobody goes there anymore; it’s too crowded.

You’ve got to be very careful if you don’t know where you are going, because you might not get there.

In theory there is no difference between theory and practice. In practice there is.

A nickel ain’t worth a dime anymore.

How can you think and hit at the same time?

I tell the kids, somebody’s gotta win, somebody’s gotta lose. Just don’t fight about it. Just try to get better.

Even Napoleon had his Watergate.

It was impossible to get a conversation going, everybody was talking too much.

It ain’t the heat, it’s the humility.


You don’t have to swing hard to hit a home run. If you got the timing, it’ll go.

He also said “I didn’t say all the things I said”

From the Kids

Saw this in an email newsletter I get.  

Today’s CleanLaugh

Children’s Attempts at Hymns

*Children’s Attempts at Singing Well Known Hymns*

Sometimes kids get things a little……well, maybe these came from kids:

– Give us this day our deli bread!

– Glory be to the Father and to the Son and to the Whole East Coast.

– We shall come to Joyce’s, bringing in the cheese.

– Gladly, the consecrated, cross-eyed bear.

– He carrots for you.

– Bringing in the sheets.

– Yield not to Penn Station.

– Dust around the throne.

– Praise God from whom all blessings flow, Praise Him all creatures, HERE WE GO

– While shepherds washed their socks by night

– He socked me and boxed me with His redeeming glove.

Things You Would Never Know Without the Movies

Today’s CleanLaugh

Things You Would Never Know Without the Movies

– It is always possible to park directly outside any building you are visiting.

– A detective can only solve a case once he has been suspended from duty.

– If you decide to start dancing in the street, everyone you bump into will know all the steps.

– Most laptop computers are powerful enough to override the communication systems of any invading alien civilization.

– It does not matter if you are heavily outnumbered in a fight involving martial arts – your enemies will wait patiently to attack you one by one by dancing around in a threatening manner until you have knocked out their predecessors.

– When a person is knocked unconscious by a blow to the head, they will never suffer a concussion or brain damage.

– No one involved in a car chase, hijacking, explosion, volcanic eruption or alien invasion will ever go into shock.

– Police Departments give their officers personality tests to make sure they are deliberately assigned a partner who is their total opposite.

– When they are alone, all foreigners prefer to speak English to each other. If they’re villains, they will probably speak with an English accent.

– You can always find a chainsaw when you need one.

– Any lock can be picked by a credit card or a paper clip in seconds, unless it’s the door to a burning building with a child trapped inside.

– An electric fence, powerful enough to kill a dinosaur will cause no lasting damage to an eight-year-old child.

– Television news bulletins usually contain a story that affects you personally at that precise moment you turn the television on.